on the stoop
with our knees up
we have long lightning
bug conversations,
the words lighting
up in random intervals
amongst the trees in
the dark, and our
hands wander our
sides restlessly setting
off the motion sensors
behind us, illuminating
something that has
yet to make sense to
either one of us;
and our thoughts meet
each other halfway.

I've left a piece
of myself at
the feet of every
single set of eyes
that I've ever loved.
The biggest one
at yours, and I
miss it the most;

I'm not sure there

is enough left

for anyone else to love.

out of my element.

I turned around

in the doorway; blindly

finding myself

in a place that I did

not find familiar.

the sunlight shouldn't

be in this place

and I feel more than taken

from what I remembered

as a comfort zone

hands wandering

my sides, feeling severed.

In the field outside

I could hear the bees

making conversation

amongst themselves

ignoring the world around

them, and wondered

if the bones scattered

throughout the wheat

had names, and if the faces

of the bees held the answers

to the questions they asked.

Somedays I feel

like I have fallen

six stories and a hair

waking up cold

in another world,

keeping with the

tradition and a smile

that I like to spread

around, brown eyes

in a blue world,

hands awash with the

consequences, just remember

that I love you, and

that I am the harsh equivalent

of all my best intentions

gone horrifically awry.

this year has been my hardest

and im afraid im not gonna be

stronger on the other side of this

im praying for spring and the

heart to not feel like i deserve

to have what I want most just

because of the goodness and love

that i have brought into peoples lives.

this is no way to end a decade.