im living breathless
in a house of cards
i always count my steps
i wish i felt this less
I'm on a dead end street
always shuffling my feet
Im on some endless beach
all i can do is reach
the shafts of light lay break
across the cold dead waves
always losing my way
theres way too much at stake
my worries swell and stack
hearing my knuckles crack
keep stress under attack
like strings they swell and snap

I woke up in atlantis
searching for a younger heart
I'm hurting for some love
and a way to breathe underwater
the rhymes they just repeat
and regulate my pulse
i never feel on beat
my words always ring false
and in her sleepy eyes
feel myself getting nervous
in dimly lighted rooms
things arent supposed to bloom
put this message in the bottle
and leave it out at sea
I'm never coming back
please dont come look for me

if you ever find this letter
please read between the lines
my lousy penmanship
tells a story all its own
Sometimes things fall apart
like hearts that stop and start
I keep the sleep at bay
I'm not sure if I'm safe

I only rap cause I aint smart enough to write a book.

in the middle of my thoughts laid to waste
everything up top fighting for space
living too afraid to take place,
cased in four walls afraid to lose face in
im struggling losing patience
everything froze up left me in stasis
losing faith in myself and the world
on more than just a daily basis
leave it up to me to smile friendly
hard enough being my own enemy
askin what the fuck has gotten into me
I don't have an answer or an apology
watchin days collapse up from under me
feelin like years passed with no sympathy
like i fell asleep under an apple tree
knowin deep inside its all pissed away

keep talking I promise to keep listening
i got a book to keep all your fiction in
dont worry I'm not omitting anything
does it sting? knowing that you're the death of me?

midnights rolls in
everythings forgotten
taking pages from
every book that has
ever gotten, through
to me, loosely, losing
sight, some day I just think
I might come to grips
with losing light
eyes that wander over slight
missteps, staying stressed,
leave it all to be addressed
by the hands that shape the words
taking letters taking turns
take too long to fall asleep
hear the clock tick
hear the thoughts click
with the clouds thick
overhead, always storming
in my head always storming
in my head.

to be continued... at some point.

Everything in slo-mo
feeling like the gold coast
slow poke, close my eyes
never quite there though
finishing my last meal
choking on the overkill
tuggin on my sleeves cause
i never really know how to feel
this is just me, never quite comfortable
from under the
gun with a
fear of what the thunder does
clap for the honesty
cause speaking honestly
i never wanted these
words to be a part of me
i just open my hands
and they depart from me.

Here it goes.

I sing to myself in the soft
electronic light, breathing
in all of the wrong places
losing time, over thinking
sinking in where it always
feels just about right. 

and then

         I freeze up.
         staring at all of our words
         that we've moved and
         rearranged in sleepy stanzas
         uneven and rough around
         all seen edges. in the hour when
         the dead come to life.

as soon as I got home I knew.

It's going to be awhile before I sleep
and I want to be out of these clothes.
my feet stick to the floors as i pass
from room to room, living to hall,
hall to bath, bath to kitchen.
We are night people, and I play
with the words on the fridge
and keep things to myself. I let the
boards creaking under my toes do the
talking for me, but they rarely
make any sort of sense. But then again,

      neither do I.